What an Previous Film Taught Me About Turning Forty

After I was a child, there have been a number of motion pictures that made the weekly rounds on cable tv. It wasn’t at all times the identical channel, however these movies in some way snuck their approach right into a everlasting rotation of mid-nineties programming. Over time, they have been burned within the collective reminiscence of millennials rising up throughout that point—for higher or for worse. A few of them I nonetheless watch right this moment—Grumpy Previous Males, Father of the Bride, and Again to the Future. Certainly one of these movies gave the impression to be on greater than the others although. It wasn’t one of the best or funniest, however it had some mixture of comedy, journey, and thriller that stored of us tuning in. That film was Metropolis Slickers.

Within the film, Billy Crystal performs Mitch, a thirty-nine-year-old city dad starting a mid-life disaster. Mitch is a radio government with a spouse and youngsters he loves, however he has begun worrying that his greatest days are behind him. The film begins with Mitch saying this: “Have you ever ever reached some extent in your life the place you say, ‘That is one of the best I’m ever gonna look, one of the best I’m ever gonna really feel, one of the best I’m ever gonna do, and it ain’t nice’?” Shortly after, Mitch stands in entrance of his child’s class at profession day and provides some recommendation on life to the youngsters. After attempting to clarify his profession and shortly realizing that the scholars might care much less, he begins telling them to get pleasure from this time of their lives, as a result of it’s only going to worsen. They’ll achieve weight, be stressed, and their goals will go up in smoke. By the tip of the speech, the youngsters are blankly gazing Mitch horrified.

Regardless of the pessimistic starting, the film finally ends up with a terrific message. The story is about Mitch’s journey in redefining himself and what journey and which means seem like. The movie hinges on a easy level: getting into midlife as a person is tough. On some degree, we all know that a few of our greatest days are behind us. Aside from just a few, most of us will solely get weaker, extra drained, and extra out of practice for the remainder of our lives. If the battle of the thoughts is to decide on hope over the tragic, this won’t be one of the best theme to perseverate on. As Christians, although, we’ve a greater (however sudden) story. 

I not too long ago turned forty. Turning forty has been a reminder of one thing all of us attempt to overlook—we’re not in charge of our lives. To be sincere, my life doesn’t seem like I believed it could at forty. I’m certain no one’s life does—however mine feels extra acute. For the previous a number of years I’ve been sick in a approach that has restricted my capability to completely operate. A part of this limitation is that I can’t transfer my physique the way in which I might just a few years in the past—I can play with my children, however it’s usually powerful. My emotional and psychological well-being has suffered as effectively, and I spend a lot of my time questioning what the long run will maintain. It’s not that I lack hope, however I typically surprise what the character of that hope actually is. Does God promise therapeutic? Is the abundance of hope we’re given in Scripture for this earthly life? For the , what does it seem like to grasp God’s guarantees whereas having fun with the grace we’ve been given? As I flip forty, the true query earlier than me is that this: am I residing in a tragedy or a comedy within the classical sense (with a contented ending)? 

The film Metropolis Slickers ends as a comedy. What Mitch finds out is that the journey, pleasure, and which means supplied to him at forty is greater than sufficient to maintain him glad. It’s an ending that matches effectively with the American narrative of self-determination. It’s additionally a becoming ending for a lot of American Christianity. American Christianity is dead-set on convincing us that we live in a comedy. In most areas of evangelicalism, redemption is the one narrative. Just a few years in the past, I noticed a poster in a Christian college gymnasium that confirmed a basketball participant taking pictures a bounce shot over the hand of a defender. Predictably, Philippians 4:13 was plastered throughout the underside—“I can do all issues by Christ who strengthens me.” Whereas I perceive the sentiment behind the phrase image, I sometimes discover that sort of language irritating. Can we actually do all issues? I actually can’t heal myself or dunk a basketball. As Christians we at all times endure some defective views of Scripture contained in the church, however what actually irks me about that sort of poster is that it hides the great thing about the true gospel. Definitely the overarching theme of our lives and the story of creation is one among redemption, however there should be many tragedies endured to get there.

In a current interview, one among my favourite writers, Bethel McGrew, was requested in regards to the books which have formed her. The primary one she talked about was a e book by Thomas Sowell titled The Imaginative and prescient of the Anointed. McGrew selected this e book as a result of it taught her as a youngster that a lot of life’s issues are unsolvable. Regardless of what politicians or self-help gurus inform us, a lot of what ails us as a society and as people are tragedies we should endure. Is there a remedy for systematic poverty? In all probability not. Certain, we will mitigate its results, however we can not eradicate the misfortune, sickness, and even laziness that may trigger it. The extra we’ve tried to remedy psychological sickness, the more severe issues have gotten. The identical is true of a myriad of different points. Is that this cynical? I hope not, however at forty I wish to be practical. I’ve hope, however the nature of that hope has been shifting for fairly a while.

My life and religion journey have led me to be disillusioned and hopeful on the identical time. I believe it’s the right posture for a believer. One of many blessings of my age is that I’ve seen sufficient of this world to be disillusioned. In a automobile experience with my daughter the opposite day, she requested me which age of childhood was my favourite? The reply got here simply: ten years outdated. The reply is simple as a result of I keep in mind that age as being the second after I started believing that I might accomplish something sooner or later. As much as that point, I had been a median hockey participant, however that winter, I arrange a web in my basement and dedicated to taking pictures one-hundred pucks a day—together with weekends. Not solely did I hone my pictures on the rusty objective with the canvas goaltender tied to the sides, I stick-handled golf balls out and in of cones whereas operating the steps in my home between drills. 

Inside a 12 months after starting these drills, I used to be one of many higher hockey gamers on my staff. From that time on, being good at hockey turned a part of my id. For a boy getting into his teenage years, it was a good id to have. There was extra although. That have of prepared myself into one thing I used to be not earlier than left me with a newfound confidence within the energy of effort. Limitations had dropped off and the world earlier than me appeared like a clean slate to be conquered. Afterward, I might eat up the narrative of the Republican politicians who instructed me that the one factor standing between me and wealth was effort. This isn’t a totally fallacious story, however it actually doesn’t inform the entire story. 

All through my forty years, I’ve shifted forwards and backwards between believing that I can accomplish something to a extra practical view of myself. The previous couple of years have pressured a reckoning with actuality that I by no means needed to face. As somebody who felt that legacy was vital as a younger man, it’s unlikely that my identify will ever be in a historical past e book or on a constructing someplace. I’ve not created one thing that can result in generational wealth for future relations, and I’ve spent a few of that point having to rebuild every little thing. What I’ve realized although, is that this: our lives as Christians are inherently tragic in a redemptive approach. If that sounds complicated, hold with me for a second. 

My spouse and I usually discuss in regards to the nature of hope on this world. Are God’s guarantees for this world or the following? In the identical week, we will see one household’s prayers answered within the affirmative whereas one other household watches their lives collapse as tragedy strikes. If one of many targets of the Christian life is to achieve knowledge, that is one thing we should make sense of. If we by no means wrestle with this drawback, we are going to find yourself in one among two ditches—we might be overly optimistic or nihilistic. The issue is that neither will result in the depth of hope the gospel calls us to. What’s the reply although? I believe the key is that there’s much less of a solution than there’s a car that helps us navigate by life. 

In direction of the tip of Metropolis Slickers, Mitch has a dialog with an outdated rugged cowboy named Curly who has led them of their cattle name. Curly tells Mitch that the key of life is that this: “One factor. Only one factor. You follow that and the remainder don’t imply s***.” I used to be reminded of this not too long ago after I was pondering by a few of the classes I’ve realized over the previous forty years. The film by no means solutions the query; it leaves it open-ended for Mitch and the viewers to determine. I’d forgotten about that query for a few years—in reality I haven’t watched Metropolis Slickers in ten years or so. A pal’s query, although, jogged my memory of the movie.

A few weeks in the past, my spouse threw a fortieth party for me with a few of my greatest buddies. It was a candy evening with household and buddies, however finally the evening died right down to just a few of the closest buddies round my desk. Certainly one of these buddies requested me what I had realized at forty? Surprisingly, just one reply got here up—I didn’t even have to consider it. Pursue friendship. 

The factor about life is that our lives are neither pure tragedy or pure comedy. They’re sudden and we merely have no idea what our expertise might be like. The hope of the gospel, nonetheless, tells us that God is working all issues collectively for our good behind the ups and downs of the plotlines in our lives. The key of life, then, is to discover ways to reside on this story we don’t management. The best way to reside this secret, I’m satisfied, is thru friendship. Friendship with our God, our youngsters, our partner, our neighbors, and others put in our path. It’s the laborious work of pursuing intimacy—of studying Scripture, prayer, bringing meals, cleansing our home to have of us over, and coping with the annoyances of life collectively—that bridges the gaps in our lives. Intimacy with God grounds us in hope by reminding us of the creator who’s writing our tales. Our family and friends assist us maintain perspective in pleasure and battle, and making area for brand spanking new individuals provides deeper richness in our lives. Friendship is on the very core of redemption. It’s the place we most clearly reside out the gospel and the place the place we discover the hope we want by loving and being cherished by others who’re additionally attempting to navigate the stress of the fallen world.

Probably the greatest scenes in Metropolis Slickers comes on the cattle experience with Mitch and the 2 buddies that got here together with him. “Bear in mind after we have been children?” one among them asks. “We thought we’d be buddies eternally. It turned out we have been proper.” At a time when Mitch is questioning virtually every little thing about his life, he realizes that goodness surrounds him. He’s cherished and he loves these round him. At forty, I really feel like that is the key I’ve realized.

This assessment was initially revealed on Church and State on Nov. 30, 2025. Republished right here with the creator’s permission.